What Your Cafe Order Says About You?

Whether it's a first date, a corporate meeting, or simply catching up with a friend after a long time, meeting over coffee has proven to be a tried-and-tested method for success. The ambience, the service and the beverage are just perfect for a sit-down discussion (in most cafes at least). Coffee also tends to be a pretty good indicator of the person you are sitting down with, overanalysing their coffee order will tell exactly who they are and what you are yourself into, and we have a variety to choose from and ‘generalise’.

Fun Fact: Use this on the surrounding tables as well to fuel your inner judgy needs

So, without further ado, this is a partially true but wonderfully fabricated take on what your coffee order says about you.

Latte

The latte is a timeless favourite, much like Bollywood movies. How you enjoy your latte speaks volumes about your personality, just like your choice of Bollywood actor.

If you prefer the classic latte with steamed full-cream milk, you're likely over forty. Perhaps you're a parent juggling school tuition or climbing the corporate ladder in an MNC. Either way, you probably have a credit score that matches your cricket team's run rate and a guest bedroom for visiting relatives.

If you go for an iced latte, you're probably a young millennial. Opting for oat or almond milk? You're a twenty-something fashionista in trendy Kurtas. Or you're her boyfriend, who doesn’t even like coffee but copies her order to avoid a conversation about it.

Iced Coffee or Cold Brew

Iced coffee and cold brew might taste similar, but they cater to entirely different groups, much like cricket and kabaddi.

If you order an iced coffee with any type of milk, you resemble the iced latte crowd. You might be a bit more financially savvy, unwilling to spend your hard-earned rupees on a pricey drink.

If you prefer cold brew with any milk, you're undoubtedly Gen Z. If “nitro” or “sweet cream” appear in your order, you're probably paying with your dad's credit card, hoping he doesn't check the bill too closely.

Ordering either drink black means you’re either a man or a sociopath, or maybe a bit of both, like someone who prefers paneer over butter chicken.

Black Coffee or Americano

Hot black coffee and Americano are essentially the same, much like the difference between a dosa and an uttapam. Those who order either are both high-strung and laid-back, akin to a parent juggling kids and office deadlines. If you choose an iced Americano, you're a stylish guy or an alternative girl in your early twenties—an all-around decent human being.

Cappuccino or Cortado

The cappuccino and cortado, much like a masala chai and a cutting chai, are distinguished by a few ounces of milk and personality.

If you gravitate towards a cappuccino with whole milk, you're top-tier. Probably over thirty, working in something chic like fashion, publishing, or marketing. You’re well-dressed, well-mannered, and possibly accompanied by a small child with similar traits.

If you’re into cortados with anything but whole milk, you take yourself way too seriously. If you call it a flat white, people might think you're from Down Under. If you have no clue what these are, you’re blissfully normal. And if you order them iced, you're probably a Café Coffee Day regular.

Macchiato

Asking for a macchiato means you're a Café Coffee Day regular expecting caramel drizzle. When it arrives in a small cup with just foam, you're either baffled or you know exactly what you ordered and are justifiably annoyed when the barista tries to enlighten you.

Mocha or Hot Chocolate

Like the latte, mochas and hot chocolates draw a diverse crowd—some kids, some adults, and some who are just big kids.

If you order a hot chocolate or mocha, you're likely a stand-up person with good intentions—perhaps just wanting to warm your hands or snag a good photo for Instagram.

The iced mocha is delightful too, but if you choose it, you probably don’t favor coffee much, like someone who prefers Rasgulla over Gulab Jamun.

Matcha or Chai Latte

Opt for a matcha or chai latte, and you probably aren’t a coffee fan. Matcha is green tea, and chai is black tea—both worlds apart from coffee.

If you order a chai latte, you're a unique soul. You probably wear Birkenstocks, having done so before they were trendy. You enjoy iced teas but rush for a hot chai the moment the weather dips below 21°C.

If you order an iced matcha, you’re either in your late twenties with a granola vibe or in your early twenties with a trust fund aura.

If you order a hot matcha, why?

Espresso

Unlike the matcha, mocha, and chai crowd, espresso lovers are deeply enamoured with coffee. This isn't a flaw, just a passion.

If you sip an espresso leisurely, you're probably a soft-spoken professor with a beard, teaching at a local university. You tip generously.

If you grab an espresso to go, you're a gold-card member at a law firm, rushing to your office. You're likely a young middle-aged professional with gelled hair and a less generous tipping habit.

A Sip Of Reflection

Reflecting on myriad coffee choices, it's clear our cafe orders offer more than just a caffeine fix—they paint a whimsical portrait of our personalities. From the classic latte to the edgy iced matcha, each choice subtly reveals our quirks and aspirations. While this playful analysis may not be scientific, it reminds us of the delightful diversity in everyday life. So, next time you go on a coffee date, feel free to use this as a guide to see if you’d want to stay or run away!